How quickly time goes by

It's incredible what can happen in a year.
A year ago I was miserable at work and looking forward to going back to school and pursuing a nutrition certificate. I was desperate to find something to hang on to; something that meant I would one day have a job that I loved, that meant something. About two weeks into school I realized that I wouldn't be able to do it. Immediately I was drowning in reading and work with a teacher that was incredibly uncommunicative and unhelpful. I love school. I love being in a classroom. I love learning. I think that there are certain subjects that I would be able to learn through an online course and as it turned out, Kinesiology was not one of them. I have never been good at saying "no". I am notorious for taking on too much, and for being too proud to bow out when I'm under water. For the first time in my life I saw my limits and I accepted them. I'm incredibly proud of this. I think that this was my turning point. The next one came in July.
In July I was invited to a work conference in Chicago. It was my first time visiting the Windy City and I had the privilege of playing tourist with a close friend that happens to moonlight as my coworker. I was there for 2 and a half days and it took much less than that for me to fall completely in love. Hard and fast, head over heals, complete and irrevocable. It was as though something awoke inside of me that I was completely unaware of up until that point. Suddenly I was filled with life, confidence, and a pride that fueled me. I was filled with a love for my job, a love for those I work with, and most importantly: a love for myself. I'm not sure exactly what it was about the experience or if it really was anything in particular. All I really know is that I am forever changed and forever grateful.
Work has it's struggles and its triumphs. Sometimes both numerous times a day. I won't and can't speak too much about work but I will say this much: I love and hate my job. I am in a constant state of exhaustion and stress but I am also slightly obsessed. I love the challenge. I am pushed to my limits almost every day and sometimes I absolutely rely on my people to carry me and sustain me. At this point I can't see myself leaving, and I think that is saying something.
In August I became a total badass with the help of some incredible friends and of course my husband.

September brought our first wedding anniversary. I'm not sure what I did to deserve such a wonderful husband but I'm trying my best to deserve him.

In November my little brother got married in one of the most beautiful weddings that has ever happened.

Christmas was spent at Disneyland with the inlaws. It was my first Disney Christmas and we spent way too much  money BUT I finally got my married Mickey Ears so all in all it was a total success.

We started our New Year off with a gorgeous hike as a commitment that we were going to start taking better care of ourselves.

March kicked off the home buying process for us. We didn't really know what to expect but all of the sudden we were looking at places and putting in offers and HOLY CRAP all of the sudden we had keys to our very own "first home". We managed to score an adorable little town house in my hometown. It needs a little TLC but we have absolutely loved moving in and getting settled. It's perfect for us and we can't wait to see how we grow in this new place.

The weekend that we were scheduled to move into our new house I was rear ended at the airport and my adorable teeny tiny car was totaled. I had it for 8 years and it was a perfect first car. Between moving and having to deal with insurance and buying a new car and work nonsense I was definitely getting my butt kicked. Sometimes being an adult sucks. I do love my new car though. I feel like a grown up when I drive it. My old car didn't even have automatic locks or windows so basically anything would have been an upgrade.

Well that was the cliff notes version of the past year. I think that it's been the best year yet but even still the best is yet to come.

I make no promises about whether or not I will continue to write or what I will be doing on here. All I can say is that I'm loving life right now.

Clean(ish) Fifteen

May 20, 2015
"So I thought I would be good and make my coffee at home this morning instead of spending money and calories at Starbucks. It's never the same but it was good enough so I felt pretty proud of myself. Of course as soon as I get to work all of my coworkers start clamoring for a "drug run" to Starbucks and my willpower crumbles instantly. Instead of opting for a tea or anything remotely resembling "healthy" I go for sugary coffee crack (at least I got a small... right?). I'm not sure what divine intervention nudged me to look at the bottom of my iced latté when I got it but I did and I found these awful white curd looking things that weren't dissolving. They just sat at the bottom of my cup and I was so grossed out I refused to drink it.
All I could think about was how, if I had gotten my normal drink (which is either blended or hot and therefore in a non-clear cup) I would have consumed the nasty white curd things and never would have been the wiser. And then it hit me - WHAT THE HECK AM I PUTTING INTO MY BODY?! That's disgusting!! Why would I want to do that?! I think that I'm going to start a reward system with myself. Every 15 days without artificial sugar and chemicals and fast food I get to treat myself to something special. So basically I just have to eat super clean and I get rewarded for it. Not too bad right? My first reward is going to be a massage."

May 21, 2015
"Whose idea was it to be healthy and why do they want to kill me?! Day one of this detox thing has kicked my butt and not in a good "that hurt but was awesome" way... more in a "what the hell did I get myself into" kind of way.

So basically I am a week into this and its getting a lot better. The first two days were absolute torture. The sugar-withdrawal headaches and lack of sugar-induced energy made me a suuuuper un-productive employee. For large spans of the day I would just sit and stare at my computer because I literally couldn't convince myself to do otherwise. It's getting easier and I finally have more energy. I cheated a little this weekend and I really cheated today but otherwise I've been doing really well... Honestly I just can't believe I've gone a week without coffee.

Celebrating The School Stuff

Last weekend my big little brother graduated from college with his Bachelors.

It was incredibly cool to see my younger brother participate in such a life changing event and I am so glad I was able to escape work for a day and hang out with my family (Anthony, regrettably couldn't get out of work) even though it was only for about 24 hours.

Our family and my soon to be in-laws. So blessed to be able to call such wonderful people my family.

I also got to see the last home series of my brother's college baseball career and even better that they kicked butt!!!

 I figured this was my last baseball game for a while so my traditional pretzel had to happen. It's not a baseball game for Elaina if a huge soft pretzel with salt isn't present. Also spilling mustard all over my leggings definitely had to be a highlight of the trip.

 She's already family but in November she will officially be my sister!!

So proud of you for finishing college William!!! I love you!

And speaking of school.... I've decided that I'm going back.... And I am so excited I think my head is going to explode!!!! I will be pursuing a Nutrition Certificate and a Personal Trainer Certification with the goal of helping people like me with jacked up bodies or just anyone that wants to be healthy to achieve health in a natural/holistic way. I can't wait to be back in a learning environment and be better equipped to help myself, and eventually others, to live life at the healthiest capacity. I'll still be working full time and focusing on mainly taking night and online classes but I'm over the moon. Plus, having something to focus on at work that I'm excited about makes me less likely to pitch myself off the roof (just kidding, I'm totally afraid of heights). My always brilliant mother has suggested that I document my transformation (physical and educational) through this process so that I can help others later using my personal experience so there you go.

Life Happens

I know that in my last post I said that I wanted to launch my new Vegan/Recovery Blog on April 20th. At the time I really meant it. I was really excited about it. I planned it out a bit and got started and then, wouldn't you know it, life happened. It's been doing that a lot this year.
It started on Easter when Anthony and I found out that my Granny was diagnosed with cancer and given a few months. It didn't come as very much of a surprise (thank you heavy smoking) but anyone who gets news like that and carries on like normal may in fact need serious help. We cleared our schedules and coordinated with my dad to go up to the Bay Area for a long weekend two weeks later to see her and my Bay Area family.

As it turned out we really didn't have that much time and a week and a half later we were driving up to meet my dad and celebrate the life of a wonderful woman. Anthony and I, along with my parents spent about a week going through my Granny's house and getting things organized and in order. I was doing really well the entire time that we were there but once I got home I fell into a fairly serious bout of depression. We didn't really eat a home cooked meal for two weeks afterwards, and I could hardly bring myself to do just about anything. It felt like we had just gone through this with Anthony's grandmother, who passed away in February, and I was just tired. I was physically and emotionally exhausted and overwhelmed with work and I let it roll over me like a train. It's been a slow upswing since then. Eventually I went grocery shopping and eventually I hung out with some friends and things gradually resumed to normalcy. I've gotta say that I married an absolutely incredible man because I don't know what I would do without his love and support. Also my family... I'm not dumb, I know that I have been incredibly blessed to have such an insanely wonderful group of people love me and call me one of their own.

So right now I am just trying to figure stuff out. I've made some big decisions in the past week and I promise I will write about it as soon as I have hashed out all of the details. 

I guess that even though life has been happening, it is going to continue happening. I just need to readjust myself. Easier said than done sometimes but it has to happen eventually.

Exciting Updates!!

Hey Everyone! It's been a while!!! Some exciting and not so exciting things have been taking place in our lives lately and we seem to be at a point where I can sit back a little bit and start some new things and take advantage of the wonderful life we have.

Anthony and I have been doing great! Our marriage has gotten off to a pretty great start and even though we aren't pros, we think that we are on our way! In January we joined a Growth Group through our church and we absolutely love it. Not only are we learning more about God but we've met some amazing people that we are very attached to and it is really helping our own marriage to grow and flourish. I honestly can't recommend joining something similar enough. Just the few months that we have been involved have changed our lives for the better and I can't foresee a time in the future when we will not be a part of one.

Anthony and I are both still at our respective jobs and for now we are just trying to focus on the positive. Honestly I'm really trying to just be grateful that our bills are paid and our needs are met by these jobs but those days are not as often as I would like them to be. At the very least we are both learning a lot and earning some money.

Recently I became a Vegan and it has completely changed my life is almost every way imaginable. 

I was a vegetarian for about a year and a half but I was fairly casual about it. My health wasn't very good and it was getting worse and finally at the end of December I decided that I needed to make a change. I was diagnosed with Depression and dealing with that (and the symptoms/repercussions that come along with it) has been one of the hardest things I've ever done and it is a daily battle with myself. I'll definitely go into more detail in a different post but basically getting myself back into a semblance of normalcy and health is my top priority at the moment. Becoming vegan has helped me quite a bit in helping me work towards that goal. I'm really excited about where it is going to take me and the impact it is going to have on my life and that of others. I can't wait to share with you how this journey is starting to change my life!!

Basically my goal is to take this blog and turn it into a Vegan/Food/Recovery/Fitness blog. I'm going to be sharing recipes, resources, workouts, motivation, and basically just my testimony to why I am living my life the way I am and how you can change your life as well. I'm  really excited about this new step in my life and am thoroughly enjoying the process of getting this all together. My goal is to have everything up and started the week of April 20th so mark your calendars!! I really hope that you'll join me and maybe even feel inspired to try some yummy vegan food. 

I mean seriously... How delicious does that look?! Who knew Vegans actually ate anything other than salads?!

So Long Facebook!

After a long chat with one of my best friends this weekend, I have come to realize that it's time to take a break from social media. I use it as such a time suck and its practically worthless to my life. I enjoy seeing what people are up to, but it is making me exceptionally lazy with my relationships and I waste so much time sifting aimlessly through posts that I don't care too much about rather than looking people up purposely to see how they are doing.
I am trying to simplify my life. I want to spend more time outside or reading, or doing something that matters to me. I want to combat my laziness that is so much perpetuated by staring at my phone. There are so many things that I claim I have no time to do when really I am just wasting that time.
I'm not trying to be all high and mighty, I just feel like I need to make some changes in my life that revolve less around pointless technology and aimlessness. I want to simplify and repurpose and I feel like this is the best way for me to do it right now. I also think that I would focus more on this blog if I do this.
I'm not saying that I'm going to give it up forever; I'm looking at it more as an experiment. I want to get back to personal relationships. I want to gain back the time that I feel I'm wasting. I want to finally finish the book that I am reading. I want to finally finish all of my thank you cards. I want to go back to studying history. I want to finally try some new recipes. Having a clean apartment all the time would also be nice.
So I guess instead of saying so long, I should say "goodbye for now". Starting December 1st I am deleting Facebook off of my phone. I may get rid of Instagram for a while too. That one is harder but that may be the reason that it's necessary.

Mid November Update

Hey everyone! I am finding it excessively hard to believe that it is already the middle of November and Thanksgiving is right around the corner. I feel like time is just speeding up faster and faster and I don't even have time to appreciate any of it. Can you believe that we have already been married for over two months?! I know!!!!

I'm fairly certain that I wouldn't be able to function without my weekly therapy. I wait all week for Saturday morning when I get to go to the barn and play with the horsies. If it didn't get dark so early I would be there more but until the time changes back I have to stick to only once a week. Every time that I climb up onto my horse all of my worries, nerves, stress, and doubts melt away and I am blissfully empty of negativity. Anthony has been such an encouragement to me getting back into the horse life. I think he sees how happy I am when I come home exhausted, sun burnt, and smelling like horse. As soon as I start to get cranky during the week he asks when I'm going to the barn next and I can't help but excitedly count down the days. An added bonus is that its currently "No-Stirrup November", so my legs are really sore but hopefully getting stronger. Luckily my trainer is nice and since I am only riding once a week I don't have to go without stirrups all of the time like some people there.

I've been doing better with the healthy thing. I gave up sugar and caffeine for about two weeks during Halloween and have been pretty good about not going overboard with it now. I've cut back a ton on my Starbucks which I'm super proud of buuuuuut it's also Red Cup Season soooo

I mean, I get a "Christmas drink" all year long but during the holidays I get it hot so it's still a treat... Right? I also started working out on my lunch break. Today I went running. It's great because I get some kind of workout in without having to lose time with my hubby after work and it also encourages me to pack a lunch because if I work out during my lunch hour I don't have enough time to go and buy lunch. So I am eating healthier, working out, and saving money all at the same time. Win win win!

As soon as we got back from our honeymoon I scheduled a hair appointment and chopped all of my hair off. I had been looking forward to it for months and it feels so good to be back having short hair. 

Look at all that hair!!!

Anthony is also doing great! Right now he is mainly just working and studying hard for his huge promotion test that is coming up. 

Other than that we are just settling into normality. I am working on thank you cards so please be patient. I haven't forgotten about them I promise! I just have soooo many to do. Believe me when I say that we are so deeply grateful for all of the love and support and I really want each card that I write to reflect that.